On New Year's Day, I took a taxi to the Beiaardschool and practiced the carillon for the first time since the accident. At the risk of being theatrical: It was triumphant, it was humiliating, it was glorious, it was pain. But even through my unexpected fluency and ineptitude, I heard music, music spoke to me. That was all I wanted, to discover that the music had stayed in me all along. Now I must relearn to actualize it.
After crutching home and submitting myself to a failed cooking experiment and more ickly bandaging, I somehow cornered myself into portraying American college life as a nonstop party over dessert with Elvo. Of course we spoke of much else as the hours slipped unnoticed into night. An unfamiliarly pensive end to the first day of 2006.
Since Zoe carried my incredibly heavy box of books from Brussels to Mechelen, I've been reabsorbed by my American poetry addiction, which to my surprise, has become the perfect homesickness fix (not that I needed it).
Under thy shadow by the piers I waited;Only in darkness is thy shadow clear.
The City's fiery parcels all undone,
Already snow submerges an iron year . . .
[Hart Crane, "Proem: To Brooklyn Bridge"]
I never realized how American American poetry was until now.
[image: Joseph Stella, "Voice of the City of New York Interpreted, 1920-22"]
Desination: The Concertgebouw in Amsterdam. Viola every weekend? Parsifal Act II in February? I've hardly seen a stranger, busier calendar. But going there will at last mean confronting the city in which I've already lived two nightmares. Would it become another?
5 comments:
did you intend one of your blogs to have a white background and the other one to have a black background? i see it's quite fitting.
That's funny, I totally hadn't thought about that. But you're right... here's the positive public blog, and there's the black blog filled with teenage angst. You're clever. Very clever. Are you still at SFSU? Can I still email your addy there?
P.S. I swear I don't have multiple personality syndrome! ;)
yup still there, unfortunately -_- just thinking bout that , i'd pull my hair out. but whatever.. tunnel vision, get done, get the f* out.
"myname@myschool dot edu"
(i doubt too many phishing programs can get that email)
Hi Tiff, I see we share more than just the same taste for pics, Chocolate!! Just listened to your audio-clip on your profile...Again an unexpected surprise to brighten up the day...
PS experimenting with food on new year seems to be a bad idea.. I tried to make chocolate mousse and somehow I ended up forcing my friends to eat super-heavy chocolate paste with a hinch of foam.. :-)
Post a Comment